Queer, Far, Wherever You Are

I Attended My Grandmother’s Funeral on Zoom, and it Was Queer

A ritual on Zoom is not something you can just watch, like digital, performative experiences nowadays. The participants are gathered in an assembly of sorts, like in live theatre: the ritual cannot happen without an audience that can sense each other. And yet there’s a distance. 

What I Have & What I Haven’t

I have put trust in a government that carries a bad history of lying. I tell myself it’s kinda like that lover who keeps breaking your heart and you keep saying “okay it’s fine whatever” because a part of you is just waiting for the relationship to somehow end and the other part of you knows that those are the only four words this language has allowed you to learn, practice and speak.

It’s Going to Take Time

I’m an advocate for questions. One of the foundations of my artistic practice is striving to find the right questions to ask. Questions hold power and possibility. Finding the right question to ask myself or another creator can be the key to unlocking creative discovery. A really good question keeps revealing new layers. A really good question is a reminder that life is not fixed, but in a state of constant change, and that we can keep trying new responses, new ways of answering. 

These Days

there are some moments, where the feelings of grief and loneliness sit heavily in my chest. i think about how familiar these feelings can be for queers + trauma survivors. one day, I go to the park + cry as I listen to the bodyguard soundtrack. thank goodness for whitney houston. she just gets it.

Mel Reviews Items Around the House in the Time of Social Distance

Right now, I’ve been spending a lot of time at home. I’ve done some good stuff. I painted my living room. Restrung my guitar. Planted seeds in an egg carton, then realized that I used the wrong soil, so threw those in the garden and did it again with new soil. Been drinking 8 glasses of water, and taking gummy vitamins like a normal, regulated person.